Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.- Romans 15:2
August 10, 2021 Floyd Ray Gage
Is this verse telling us that we ought to be people-pleasers? I don’t believe that this is what Romans 15:2 is telling us to do, because of the counsel of other Scripture.
We are told in Matthew 6:5-6 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by man. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, Who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
We are not to do the righteous things that we do in order to please men or gain their praise. We are to seek to please God and do what we do in order to seek His righteousness and will. So what is Romans 15:2 saying?
I think we need to look at the whole verse to understand this. We are told to please our neighbor in order to build them up or encourage them and to please them for their own good. Not everything that pleases others is for their own good. We can do things that please man that is completely sinful in the eyes of God. That is not the kind of pleasing that this verse is talking about.
Building someone up or encouraging them should be an aim we all have as believers. We are told that we are given the spiritual gifts that we are given by the Holy Spirit to build up the church. Paul tells the Corinthians in I Corinthians 14:12, “So it is with you. Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church.” In 1 Peter 4:10 we are told, “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”
With these things understood, we can see that Paul is saying that we should do what we do to please men when it is to their spiritual good. When it encourages them in their righteousness and when it leads them to Christ. We should not strive to please men when their pleasure is sinfulness or something else that is contrary to God’s Word and Will.
Too many fall into one of two camps in our day and time. Either they are always striving to please men and miss the will of God because their aim is earthly and not eternal or they live a life of self-absorption in their spiritual walk with no concern about how their decisions and actions affect others. We cannot be on either extreme and please God.
A tightrope every Christian walks in their faith is how are they a witness to others and still set apart and holy to God. The answer is found in Romans 15:2. Do all that you do so that it will please your neighbor if they are truly seeking God’s best for their life. Be aware of their feelings and how your actions affect those feelings. If they are not seeking God’s best for their life, then your actions and decisions may not please them, but that is okay, because you have their best interest at heart. Pray for them and continue doing what you know is God’s will with compassion and love.
Not everything a parent does pleases a child. Some decisions that have to be made for the child’s own good will not please them, but as the child grows in understanding and wisdom, he or she will be pleased with the decisions that were made for their own good. The same is true of our neighbors. Let us do what we do and say what we say for the best of others always.
